FIC--Righting a Wrong (3/5)
Jan. 12th, 2008 10:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ficsbydeenasTitle: Righting a Wrong, chapter 3 of 5
Rating: R for sexual situations and language
Pairing: Harry/Ginny, reference to Harry/Andromeda
Words: 2768
Summary: The pieces fall into place as his world falls apart.
Warnings: Angst...yes, you read that right...
Beta:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
queenb23more
Righting a Wrong
*~*~*~*~*
3
*~*~*~*~*
"I'm sorry, Ginny," Harry whined for the third time. "I don't know what's wrong."
He and Ginny were in their room after just retiring for the evening. Cuddling in bed led to touching. Touching led to kissing. Kissing led to the stripping off of nightclothes. Unfortunately, that was as far as things progressed; Harry tried several times to enter her, but frustration and embarrassment got the better of him and they had to stop.
He sighed heavily and rolled away from her, feeling as if he'd never have sex again. He knew what the problem was, of course, and it was time to let the Kneazle out of the bag, as it were.
"Harry, don't worry, okay? We'll figure it out soon enough. Can you hold me at least?" Ginny kneeled behind him and caressed his shoulder with her small, warm hand.
Abruptly, Harry sat up and turned to her, tears streaming down his face.
"Ginny, it's not going to be all right! We haven't had sex in over two weeks and it's all my fault! Don't you get it?" He sprung from the bed and hastily pulled on his clothes.
"Harry, it…happens, you know? And I love you. The sex isn't the only reason!" She, too, got off the bed and grabbed her dressing gown, wrapping it around herself and then striding across the room to him. "Harry, please talk to me," she begged. "You're scaring me. Please."
He turned around and looked at her. Her fiery hair was strewn all over the place and she had two love bites on her neck from earlier. She was fighting valiantly to control the tears that were forming in her beautiful chocolate eyes. He knew he was going to break her heart with his revelation, a necessary evil he hated to confront.
"Get dressed. I can't tell you this when you look like that," he begged. It was true; she looked utterly fuckable at that moment and it would be impossible to maintain his train of thought. "I'll wait for you in the study."
Without another word, he left the room and went down the stairs. Once inside, he poured himself a generous glass of Firewhisky, drank it in three swallows, and then poured himself another. He was just about to take a drink when Ginny entered the room looking forlorn and weary. She silently sat in her favourite chair, curling her legs up underneath her. He noticed she wore the jumper her mother had made for her last Christmas, the one that matched Harry's from that same year.
"What do you want to talk to me about?" she asked, her voice wavering from her usual strong voice. Harry knew she was worried about what he was going to say and he dreaded it.
"It's…it's about the spell Andromeda did," he began, unable to look her in the eye. "She wanted to hide something from me."
Ginny huffed. "Obviously. I still can't believe she did that to you. So what did she feel was so important to hide from you for two years?"
Harry watched Ginny and could nearly see the wheels turning in her head over the question. She had stopped pestering him about it last week and finally agreed to let him tell her on his own.
"Ginny, I love you, you know that."
She nodded.
"And…you're the most important person in the world to me."
She nodded again, pulling her legs up to her chest. He could tell she was getting nervous.
"I never want to hurt you and if I can help it, I never will again."
"Harry…you're really scaring me now." She got up from her chair and walked over to the sofa and sat next to him, putting her arm around his waist. "Please, just say it."
He began to cry. He couldn't help it. He knew she'd be angry and possibly angry forever, but he had to tell her. This secret would stop now.
"Remember when … when I went to her house after Tonks' and Remus' funerals?" He sniffed and wiped his face with his hand.
"Yeah, I do. You went over there because she was so upset and hadn't slept in days," she said softly. "You wanted to make sure both she and Teddy got some sleep."
Harry nodded.
"I thought it was sweet, actually." Ginny smiled and rubbed her hand along his arm.
"We…you and I weren't actually…well, we hadn't…" His tears were making his speech nearly impossible now.
"We weren’t back together yet, I know that." She stopped rubbing his arm and narrowed her eyes at him. She knew something was up.
"Ginny, I don't know how to say this to you…but, Andromeda and I…we…we had sex that night."
"What? Tell me you didn't say what I thought you did."
"I had sex with her that night."
The room became still and eerily quiet. Ginny looked at him, her eyes wide in a stunned stare and her mouth open, lips quivering. Harry half-expected her to hex him or hit him, but she remained quiet. A screaming Ginny he could handle; a quietly seething Ginny was something he wasn't prepared for.
"I see," she said calmly, licking her lips.
"Ginny?" He reached for her but she shrugged him off and backed away from him toward the door.
"I…have some thinking to do, Harry, and I can't do it here."
"Ginny, stop. Don't go. We can talk about this," he pleaded.
"No! No, Harry! Not this time." She whipped around and walked out the door, thumping her way up the stairs toward the bedroom.
"Ginny!" He took off to follow her, quickly catching up and grabbing her, turning her around to face him. She was crying. "Oh Merlin, Gin, don't cry. Please, stay we can talk about it."
"NO!" she screamed at him, her voice breaking. "Let me go, Harry, now!"
He dropped his hand and watched as she made her way into their room. Taking the remaining steps to the top of the stairs, he could see her throwing clothes into a satchel and heard the swear words flow from her mouth. He began shaking and his breathing increased as the fear, panic and shame built up inside him. The loud slam of a drawer brought his attention to the room in front of him to find Ginny standing in front of him, furious, yet there were tear tracks on her face.
"Wha—what's going on?"
"I'm leaving. I need to think about this. Alone," she said in a low voice. With a deep breath, she turned and Apparated away.
"Dear Merlin, she's gone round the twist!"
Harry had to admit Hermione was right, especially when he found himself standing outside Andromeda's house later that day. He didn't know exactly why he was on her front step, but it had to be done. The two of them needed to straighten things out for Teddy's sake. And for everyone else's.
He pressed the doorbell and heard Teddy's wild scream come from inside the house. A smile grew in the corners of his mouth as he pictured the toddler running around the sitting room, waiting impatiently for his grandmother to open the door.
The door swung open and Andromeda stood before him, a wary smile on her face.
"Harry…nice to see you," she muttered.
"HAY!!" Teddy shouted and ran toward the door, barrelling into Harry's legs at top speed. "Gee-Nee! Where Gee-Nee?"
"Hey there, Teddy Bear," he said, scooping the boy into his arms and breathing in the scent of soap that always accompanied him. "Ginny has a Quidditch match today," he lied. Her Quidditch match was the next day.
"Kidditch! Gamma, Kidditch!" Teddy squirmed in Harry's arms and was finally released. He scampered across the room to the wireless and began jumping up and down excitedly. "Gee-Nee Kidditch!"
"Not now, Teddy," Andromeda said softly, trying to distract him with a toy. "I think Harry needs to talk. Am I right?"
Harry nodded.
"How about you watch a movie? Teletubbies?"
"OH Gamma! Tewwetubbies!" The boy ran to the television in the other room, picked up the remote and one of his Teletubbies videos, and walked proudly back to his grandmother.
Harry shut the door behind him and watched as Andromeda and Teddy went to the play room to set up the movie. The narrator's voice floated into the sitting room, followed by a smiling Andromeda.
"He should be good for about an hour," she announced and sat on the sofa and took a deep breath. "So, you told Ginny."
"Er…yeah," he answered while he walked to one of the armchairs. "She—she moved in with Ron and Hermione."
"Oh, Harry, I'm so sorry." Her voice was full of concern, and he knew she was being sincere.
"I need to fix things with her."
"Yes, you do. So why are you here and not at Ron and Hermione's begging for her forgiveness?"
Harry fell back against the back of the chair and sighed heavily. With his eyes closed, he spoke, "Because I need to straighten things out with you first." He opened his eyes and glared at her. "You did this to me and you need to help me fix this."
Her mouth dropped at the harshness of his words. "Harry, how was I supposed to know you'd make a regulation like that? I was only trying to help, all right?"
"Bloody lot of good it did!"
She leaned forward and stared at him angrily.
"So why did you come here? What am I supposed to say? You were there, too, Harry. We made a choice and we're going to have to deal with the consequences."
He was suddenly struck by something Dumbledore said to him about choices. Funny how things came back to you at inopportune times, he mused.
"I know that. But…but I need to know that you don't want…more."
"Harry, look at me."
He raised his head and met her brown eyes.
"I was flattered that you wanted me. But I think we both know that it won't happen again, right?"
He nodded.
"But I want you to know, Harry, that you made me feel alive that night, which was perhaps the absolutely worse night of my life. If I didn't have that to hold onto, I really don't think I would have made it this far on my own. You looked at me like a woman and made me feel more beautiful than I had in a long time." She took a deep breath and smiled. "I've been dating again. Did you know that?"
One corner of his mouth turned up. "No."
"Please, don't feel bad. I don't any longer and neither should you."
"Okay, but putting the spell on me? Come on, Andie, that was a bit selfish."
"Fine. It was selfish, but my reasons for doing it weren't. I wanted you to have your first time with someone you loved, Harry." He opened his mouth to speak but she stopped him. "Let me finish. I knew that you did it partly because you felt sorry for me and partly because you were curious. You didn't love me and that's what I felt the worst about. Ginny deserved everything she had ever dreamt of about making love with you for the first time. Yes, it’s clichéd, Harry, but I had a daughter who took the other route. She did it just because she could, whenever she could, and when Remus came around, Dora wished that she had been a bit choosier in her lovers, that she had gone with her heart rather than her—libido."
That information shocked Harry. He had no idea Tonks was so cavalier about that sort of thing.
"I—I didn't know."
"How could you? She didn't go on talking about her sex life with a sixteen-year-old boy, you know. That's why she fell so hard for him. He was the first man she waited for. How long did Ginny wait for you?" Andromeda arched an eyebrow.
Harry knew it was really a rhetorical question, for he knew that she knew the answer as well.
"Since…since she was ten." He'd never forget the girl who ran after the train, who put her elbow in the butter dish when he spoke to her, who sent a grievously embarrassing Valentine's card to him. She'd loved him, in some fashion, for over half her life.
"Didn't you want her to be your first, too?"
"Of course…" He stood up from his chair, irritated that Andromeda was right all along, and began pacing. "But I could have explained to her about you and me."
"I know," she reassured him. "But I didn't want you to have to do that. It's awkward, believe me."
"But now I have to do it," he shot back, running his hands through his hair. "What am I supposed to say to her?"
"I don't know. You have to figure that out for yourself, Harry."
"I'm no good at this sort of stuff!" he said with a great deal of exasperation.
"Do you love her?"
He stopped pacing and stared at her.
"Of course I do!"
"Do you want to be with her?"
"Yes! But I don't understand what you're getting—"
"Is it going to happen again? You and I?"
"NO! I love her and I can't imagine my life without her! I'd do anything to get her back and to make her understand that!"
"Then tell her that, Harry! Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get her back!"
CHAPTER FOUR
Rating: R for sexual situations and language
Pairing: Harry/Ginny, reference to Harry/Andromeda
Words: 2768
Summary: The pieces fall into place as his world falls apart.
Warnings: Angst...yes, you read that right...
Beta:
queenb23more*~*~*~*~*
3
*~*~*~*~*
"I'm sorry, Ginny," Harry whined for the third time. "I don't know what's wrong."
He and Ginny were in their room after just retiring for the evening. Cuddling in bed led to touching. Touching led to kissing. Kissing led to the stripping off of nightclothes. Unfortunately, that was as far as things progressed; Harry tried several times to enter her, but frustration and embarrassment got the better of him and they had to stop.
He sighed heavily and rolled away from her, feeling as if he'd never have sex again. He knew what the problem was, of course, and it was time to let the Kneazle out of the bag, as it were.
"Harry, don't worry, okay? We'll figure it out soon enough. Can you hold me at least?" Ginny kneeled behind him and caressed his shoulder with her small, warm hand.
Abruptly, Harry sat up and turned to her, tears streaming down his face.
"Ginny, it's not going to be all right! We haven't had sex in over two weeks and it's all my fault! Don't you get it?" He sprung from the bed and hastily pulled on his clothes.
"Harry, it…happens, you know? And I love you. The sex isn't the only reason!" She, too, got off the bed and grabbed her dressing gown, wrapping it around herself and then striding across the room to him. "Harry, please talk to me," she begged. "You're scaring me. Please."
He turned around and looked at her. Her fiery hair was strewn all over the place and she had two love bites on her neck from earlier. She was fighting valiantly to control the tears that were forming in her beautiful chocolate eyes. He knew he was going to break her heart with his revelation, a necessary evil he hated to confront.
"Get dressed. I can't tell you this when you look like that," he begged. It was true; she looked utterly fuckable at that moment and it would be impossible to maintain his train of thought. "I'll wait for you in the study."
Without another word, he left the room and went down the stairs. Once inside, he poured himself a generous glass of Firewhisky, drank it in three swallows, and then poured himself another. He was just about to take a drink when Ginny entered the room looking forlorn and weary. She silently sat in her favourite chair, curling her legs up underneath her. He noticed she wore the jumper her mother had made for her last Christmas, the one that matched Harry's from that same year.
"What do you want to talk to me about?" she asked, her voice wavering from her usual strong voice. Harry knew she was worried about what he was going to say and he dreaded it.
"It's…it's about the spell Andromeda did," he began, unable to look her in the eye. "She wanted to hide something from me."
Ginny huffed. "Obviously. I still can't believe she did that to you. So what did she feel was so important to hide from you for two years?"
Harry watched Ginny and could nearly see the wheels turning in her head over the question. She had stopped pestering him about it last week and finally agreed to let him tell her on his own.
"Ginny, I love you, you know that."
She nodded.
"And…you're the most important person in the world to me."
She nodded again, pulling her legs up to her chest. He could tell she was getting nervous.
"I never want to hurt you and if I can help it, I never will again."
"Harry…you're really scaring me now." She got up from her chair and walked over to the sofa and sat next to him, putting her arm around his waist. "Please, just say it."
He began to cry. He couldn't help it. He knew she'd be angry and possibly angry forever, but he had to tell her. This secret would stop now.
"Remember when … when I went to her house after Tonks' and Remus' funerals?" He sniffed and wiped his face with his hand.
"Yeah, I do. You went over there because she was so upset and hadn't slept in days," she said softly. "You wanted to make sure both she and Teddy got some sleep."
Harry nodded.
"I thought it was sweet, actually." Ginny smiled and rubbed her hand along his arm.
"We…you and I weren't actually…well, we hadn't…" His tears were making his speech nearly impossible now.
"We weren’t back together yet, I know that." She stopped rubbing his arm and narrowed her eyes at him. She knew something was up.
"Ginny, I don't know how to say this to you…but, Andromeda and I…we…we had sex that night."
"What? Tell me you didn't say what I thought you did."
"I had sex with her that night."
The room became still and eerily quiet. Ginny looked at him, her eyes wide in a stunned stare and her mouth open, lips quivering. Harry half-expected her to hex him or hit him, but she remained quiet. A screaming Ginny he could handle; a quietly seething Ginny was something he wasn't prepared for.
"I see," she said calmly, licking her lips.
"Ginny?" He reached for her but she shrugged him off and backed away from him toward the door.
"I…have some thinking to do, Harry, and I can't do it here."
"Ginny, stop. Don't go. We can talk about this," he pleaded.
"No! No, Harry! Not this time." She whipped around and walked out the door, thumping her way up the stairs toward the bedroom.
"Ginny!" He took off to follow her, quickly catching up and grabbing her, turning her around to face him. She was crying. "Oh Merlin, Gin, don't cry. Please, stay we can talk about it."
"NO!" she screamed at him, her voice breaking. "Let me go, Harry, now!"
He dropped his hand and watched as she made her way into their room. Taking the remaining steps to the top of the stairs, he could see her throwing clothes into a satchel and heard the swear words flow from her mouth. He began shaking and his breathing increased as the fear, panic and shame built up inside him. The loud slam of a drawer brought his attention to the room in front of him to find Ginny standing in front of him, furious, yet there were tear tracks on her face.
"Wha—what's going on?"
"I'm leaving. I need to think about this. Alone," she said in a low voice. With a deep breath, she turned and Apparated away.
Harry dismissed the owl without looking at the note the bird brought with him. He knew what it was about and didn't feel like reading this opinion about his current situation. He knew it was another note from Hermione, asking him about what happened between him and Ginny. She had written three other notes, two of which he never bothered to read. There were also the remnants of a Howler that Ron had sent once he found out the reason why Ginny was now living with them. Ron's message was like a punch in the stomach; it hurt worse than anything he could have imagined. Not only had he lost Ginny, but now, apparently, he'd lost Ron for good as well.
He hadn't gone to work since receiving Ron's Howler; he didn't fancy having to face his long-time friend and partner with things the way they were. He feigned illness and had worked from home for the past three days. The Floo had been disconnected, no one could Apparate in or out of the house, and he'd turned off his Muggle mobile phone right after she left.
In his boredom, he'd taken to drinking alone in the study, often sending an owl out for more alcohol. No store would deny Harry Potter his liquor of choice and would send along things he didn't order, free of charge. He'd drained bottles of Firewhisky, ale, mead, and the finest Muggle libations. It was a lonely and shameful existence.
The only person he had contact with was Kreacher, as he insisted on making food that Harry never ate. The house-elf came every day to tend to Harry, cleaning him up when he'd vomited on the floor, giving him hangover potion, and even levitating him to bed when he'd passed out in the study, surrounded by yet another empty bottle. It was after one of Kreacher's visits that Harry decided he needed to fix the situation.
"Master Harry, please talk with one of your friends."
"Can't. They won't be my friends much longer, anyway."
"Kreacher doesn't like to see Master Harry drink himself away. He is too good to go down that path."
"Well it's really none of your business, Kreacher."
"It is when Kreacher sees Master Harry drown in self-pity. Master Harry needs to talk to someone or he'll lose Miss Weasley forever."
"Kreacher…don't do that! You know I hate it when you punish yourself!"
"Kreacher can't help it, sir. Kreacher cares too much to see you so sad."
It was then that Harry realized that his behaviour was doing nothing to make things any better.
Harry took a deep breath and tore open the letter from Hermione, ready to prepare himself for the worst.
Harry—
I'm giving you two days to work things out with Ginny. She's unbearable to live with and Ron is getting hexed every few hours. I can't stand bats made from phlegm anymore. Get over yourself and talk to her.
If you don't work it out in my timeframe, you will be forced to. Suspect everything, Harry.
Hermione.
"Dear Merlin, she's gone round the twist!"
Harry had to admit Hermione was right, especially when he found himself standing outside Andromeda's house later that day. He didn't know exactly why he was on her front step, but it had to be done. The two of them needed to straighten things out for Teddy's sake. And for everyone else's.
He pressed the doorbell and heard Teddy's wild scream come from inside the house. A smile grew in the corners of his mouth as he pictured the toddler running around the sitting room, waiting impatiently for his grandmother to open the door.
The door swung open and Andromeda stood before him, a wary smile on her face.
"Harry…nice to see you," she muttered.
"HAY!!" Teddy shouted and ran toward the door, barrelling into Harry's legs at top speed. "Gee-Nee! Where Gee-Nee?"
"Hey there, Teddy Bear," he said, scooping the boy into his arms and breathing in the scent of soap that always accompanied him. "Ginny has a Quidditch match today," he lied. Her Quidditch match was the next day.
"Kidditch! Gamma, Kidditch!" Teddy squirmed in Harry's arms and was finally released. He scampered across the room to the wireless and began jumping up and down excitedly. "Gee-Nee Kidditch!"
"Not now, Teddy," Andromeda said softly, trying to distract him with a toy. "I think Harry needs to talk. Am I right?"
Harry nodded.
"How about you watch a movie? Teletubbies?"
"OH Gamma! Tewwetubbies!" The boy ran to the television in the other room, picked up the remote and one of his Teletubbies videos, and walked proudly back to his grandmother.
Harry shut the door behind him and watched as Andromeda and Teddy went to the play room to set up the movie. The narrator's voice floated into the sitting room, followed by a smiling Andromeda.
"He should be good for about an hour," she announced and sat on the sofa and took a deep breath. "So, you told Ginny."
"Er…yeah," he answered while he walked to one of the armchairs. "She—she moved in with Ron and Hermione."
"Oh, Harry, I'm so sorry." Her voice was full of concern, and he knew she was being sincere.
"I need to fix things with her."
"Yes, you do. So why are you here and not at Ron and Hermione's begging for her forgiveness?"
Harry fell back against the back of the chair and sighed heavily. With his eyes closed, he spoke, "Because I need to straighten things out with you first." He opened his eyes and glared at her. "You did this to me and you need to help me fix this."
Her mouth dropped at the harshness of his words. "Harry, how was I supposed to know you'd make a regulation like that? I was only trying to help, all right?"
"Bloody lot of good it did!"
She leaned forward and stared at him angrily.
"So why did you come here? What am I supposed to say? You were there, too, Harry. We made a choice and we're going to have to deal with the consequences."
He was suddenly struck by something Dumbledore said to him about choices. Funny how things came back to you at inopportune times, he mused.
"I know that. But…but I need to know that you don't want…more."
"Harry, look at me."
He raised his head and met her brown eyes.
"I was flattered that you wanted me. But I think we both know that it won't happen again, right?"
He nodded.
"But I want you to know, Harry, that you made me feel alive that night, which was perhaps the absolutely worse night of my life. If I didn't have that to hold onto, I really don't think I would have made it this far on my own. You looked at me like a woman and made me feel more beautiful than I had in a long time." She took a deep breath and smiled. "I've been dating again. Did you know that?"
One corner of his mouth turned up. "No."
"Please, don't feel bad. I don't any longer and neither should you."
"Okay, but putting the spell on me? Come on, Andie, that was a bit selfish."
"Fine. It was selfish, but my reasons for doing it weren't. I wanted you to have your first time with someone you loved, Harry." He opened his mouth to speak but she stopped him. "Let me finish. I knew that you did it partly because you felt sorry for me and partly because you were curious. You didn't love me and that's what I felt the worst about. Ginny deserved everything she had ever dreamt of about making love with you for the first time. Yes, it’s clichéd, Harry, but I had a daughter who took the other route. She did it just because she could, whenever she could, and when Remus came around, Dora wished that she had been a bit choosier in her lovers, that she had gone with her heart rather than her—libido."
That information shocked Harry. He had no idea Tonks was so cavalier about that sort of thing.
"I—I didn't know."
"How could you? She didn't go on talking about her sex life with a sixteen-year-old boy, you know. That's why she fell so hard for him. He was the first man she waited for. How long did Ginny wait for you?" Andromeda arched an eyebrow.
Harry knew it was really a rhetorical question, for he knew that she knew the answer as well.
"Since…since she was ten." He'd never forget the girl who ran after the train, who put her elbow in the butter dish when he spoke to her, who sent a grievously embarrassing Valentine's card to him. She'd loved him, in some fashion, for over half her life.
"Didn't you want her to be your first, too?"
"Of course…" He stood up from his chair, irritated that Andromeda was right all along, and began pacing. "But I could have explained to her about you and me."
"I know," she reassured him. "But I didn't want you to have to do that. It's awkward, believe me."
"But now I have to do it," he shot back, running his hands through his hair. "What am I supposed to say to her?"
"I don't know. You have to figure that out for yourself, Harry."
"I'm no good at this sort of stuff!" he said with a great deal of exasperation.
"Do you love her?"
He stopped pacing and stared at her.
"Of course I do!"
"Do you want to be with her?"
"Yes! But I don't understand what you're getting—"
"Is it going to happen again? You and I?"
"NO! I love her and I can't imagine my life without her! I'd do anything to get her back and to make her understand that!"
"Then tell her that, Harry! Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get her back!"
